Don Miguel Grandito Bean & Cheese Burrito

Price: $1.99 plus tax

Total calories: 520

Look: Like any burrito, albeit a bit more transparent than normal

Smell: Like any old bean and cheese burrito


Experience


I feel really bad about getting to this one before writing about another gas station burrito brand around here called The Bomb, because I did nothing but compare the two the whole time I ate this.

Disappointment is all that awaits you.

I was really disappointed in this burrito, not because it was bad . . . quite the contrary. It was far better than I expected it would be, and that sucks! There's only one reason why anyone would eat a gas station burrito: to put oneself through the ecstatic pain of eating something that should not exist. This disgustingly acceptable item, however, was far, far too tame to fit the bill.

Sure, the burrito stuck to the wrapper after heating so that I had to use scissors to get it out; and sure, it had that oh-so encouraging sheen that denotes something that's probably not OK for consumption; but it didn't stink, it didn't ooze, and it didn't even leave grease on my plate!

The strongest flavor in this sorry excuse for a gas station burrito was, get this, beans. Sometimes I got a hint of cheese or spice, but, for the most part, it was actually kind of bland. Unsurprising for something so pedestrian.


Would I recommend it?


Sure. If you have no respect for the sacred.