Honey Bun

Price: $1.59 plus tax

Total Calories: 600

Look: Like a cinnamon bun sans frosting

Smell: Like a cheap donut

Experience

This is an item I'm pretty sure everyone has seen and passed over at gas stations and in vending machines at least once, and I'm no different. I have been curious about it for quite a while though, so I figured why not give it a try for the blog's sake. Yes, the blog's sake. . . . Don't look at me like that!

Had I known how good these were (ignoring the fact that they're worse for you than the freaking Don Miguel Grandito) I would have had one a long time ago. They're sticky as hell, but the taste is a pleasant blend of honey and generic glaze and the texture is surprisingly similar to a legitimate cinnamon bun. It's pretty darn good!

Would I recommend it?

No, but only because it's worse for you than a Big Mac.

Don Miguel Grandito Bean & Cheese Burrito

Price: $1.99 plus tax

Total calories: 520

Look: Like any burrito, albeit a bit more transparent than normal

Smell: Like any old bean and cheese burrito


Experience


I feel really bad about getting to this one before writing about another gas station burrito brand around here called The Bomb, because I did nothing but compare the two the whole time I ate this.

Disappointment is all that awaits you.

I was really disappointed in this burrito, not because it was bad . . . quite the contrary. It was far better than I expected it would be, and that sucks! There's only one reason why anyone would eat a gas station burrito: to put oneself through the ecstatic pain of eating something that should not exist. This disgustingly acceptable item, however, was far, far too tame to fit the bill.

Sure, the burrito stuck to the wrapper after heating so that I had to use scissors to get it out; and sure, it had that oh-so encouraging sheen that denotes something that's probably not OK for consumption; but it didn't stink, it didn't ooze, and it didn't even leave grease on my plate!

The strongest flavor in this sorry excuse for a gas station burrito was, get this, beans. Sometimes I got a hint of cheese or spice, but, for the most part, it was actually kind of bland. Unsurprising for something so pedestrian.


Would I recommend it?


Sure. If you have no respect for the sacred.